In her book, Taking the War Out of Our Words: The Art of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, Sharon Ellison estimates that we use 95% of our communications energy being defensive. As soon as we feel any threat, either of not getting what we want or of being put down in some way, we are ready to protect ourselves by being defensive. Imagine how much more productive our communications could be if we learned how to respond nondefensively and to avoid provoking defensiveness in others!
Take this quiz to see how defensive you tend to be.
If you responded true more often than false to the above questions, consider some of the following alternatives to defensiveness.
Kristine A. Hodsdon RDH, BS
Director, eVillage