Random acts of kindness: More than a free drink?
The New York Times recently featured an article about a new relationship-building strategy being played out at Hyatt Hotels nationwide called "random acts of generosity." While a guest at a Hyatt, a "random" act could be the waiter paying for your dinner, getting a free spa treatment, or receiving a few extra bottles of water in your room. These random acts are passed out at the discretion of employees. This strategy is grounded in the premise that the unexpected nature of the gifts will leave customers not just pleased, but grateful and loyal.
Gratitude isn't a new idea; most spiritual practices and philosophies emphasize gratitude and compassion for others. But in recent years, gratitude has shifted from an idea to a concrete tool that people can use to become happier and healthier. This practice focuses on appreciating what others do for us, deemphasizing anger, and not blaming others for our problems.
"When we develop a sense of appreciation for those around us and cultivate a sense of gratitude for life itself, we're relieved of the burden that comes with seeing ourselves as 'victims,'" writes Greg Krech in Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection.
Gratitude isn't a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It's a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Yes, pain, injustice, and cruelty exist in this world. But when we focus on the gifts of life, we realize a feeling of well-being. We feel more energized to reach out to others; we feel we have the power to positively affect our world. This also leads to a feeling of well-being and gratitude. It's a self-sustaining cycle!
Research demonstrates the positive impact gratitude has in our lives. In her book, The How of Happiness, Positive Psychology, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky wrote, "Grateful thinking promotes the savoring of positive life experiences. By relishing and taking pleasure in some of the gifts of your life, you will be able to extract the maximum possible satisfaction and enjoyment from your current circumstances."
David J. Pollay, MAPP, associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA), suggests building Gratitude Chains™. Pollay states, "You cultivate three things in the process of building a Gratitude Chain:
• Awareness of what and for whom you are grateful,
• Curiosity about what they do that makes you feel grateful, or what makes something you value possible, and
• Memory of what is good about these individuals or things by engaging in gratitude practices. And when you link together your Gratitude Chains, you experience a powerful appreciation of the important people and things in your life."
Build your own Gratitude Chains
Consider answering the previous questions about someone close to you, whether a spouse, friend, child, or business partner:
It may be helpful to ask a few more questions: What were some of the highlights, such as the fun times when we laughed, when we first met? What specific qualities do I admire about him or her? What efforts by this other person helped our relationship make it through difficult times?
This act of creating Gratitude Chains may not get you a free night at a Hyatt Hotel, but it will help you stop taking the important people in your life for granted, and help you realize the gifts of your relationship with that person.
See you next month at UOR!
Kristine A. Hodsdon, RDH, BS
Director, RDH eVillage
