Director's Message: Curing dental envy

Jan. 22, 2013
Kristine Hodsdon, RDH, says that for the past year she has given herself permission to go full steam ahead with her purpose ... and it has made a difference in her attitude.

Have you ever been jealous of those further ahead than you? Maybe you’ve felt jealous of dental providers with more patients, consultants with more clients, speakers with more speaking engagements, offices with more high-tech equipment, businesses with more Facebook and Twitter followers, publications with more readers, companies with more sales, more … better … whatever. I’ve been jealous too.

I have friends who are living their purpose so easily and unconditionally. They’re happy and successful, and I have to admit that sometimes I’ve experienced jealousy.

However, guess what? A few months ago I learned that a friend received a fantastic business opportunity, and for the first I did not feel jealous! I did not feel anything but happy for her, thrilled with the results of all her hard work and proud to be her friend.

I was flabbergasted at myself! I thought, “woo-hoo!” It was an amazingly prolific emotion. I was just downright happy for her and I was not triggered! How did that happen, I wondered.

I searched through the many years I spent feeling some serious triggers by more successful friends and colleagues, thinking about how my experience and purpose is similar to theirs, and thinking how dare they can just go in there and shine their light so perfectly.

However, in searching through my jealous journey, I realized something different about that day when I did not feel jealous. What shifted was this — for the past year I’ve given myself permission to go full steam ahead with my purpose ... full steam.

How often do we hem and haw about what we want, not being sure about what direction we want to go, and not taking any action to get there? When we see someone we’re jealous of, we become motivated, and this is a huge gift because it is a measure of something that we want.

Here is an exercise for life or business clarity that may decrease your envy:
1. Think of someone you feel resentful of, and imagine the trigger like a little razorblade of simplicity announcing, “I want that! I want that!” Silently thank them. They have just saved you hours of overanalyzing.
2. Identify what it is about that person’s capability that you would like to experience and write it down.
3. Set a goal to move in the direction of what you want. Put a date on your calendar for a program, write and send that scary email to someone who can help you, then set aside time to work on your resume, book, website, presentation, production, sales goals, whatever you’re working on.
4. Tell someone you trust about your goals and plans. When we tell someone what we want to create and ask them to follow up with us, we hold ourselves accountable, and we are 90% more likely to follow through.
Lastly, post your action so your community can witness you in action. Remember, taking imperfect action is far superior to no action at all. Many of us sit on the sidelines waiting to have something “figured out” before we just jump in.

Be gentle with yourself and honor where you are in your development of your life or business. Thank you for jumping in. I know how much courage it takes.

Kristine A. Hodsdon RDH, BA
Director, RDH eVillage

Director’s Note: “Mindset Matters to Mindset Mastery Success System™.” This program will give you both the inner mindset to believe it’s possible and the action plan that will get you moving forward. 3 Keys to Unlock your Purposeful Entrepreneur – Webinar Replay - click here.

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