A new chapter in my life

By Sonja Lauren

It was on a sunny day during my seventh grade year when my entire life changed forever. This was the day I started wearing dentures, at the tender age of 13 years and three months.

By fifth grade I had learned to cover my smile with my hand due to the extreme humiliation of having a mouth full of decay. When I went to a dentist during this time, I received a few fillings. However, poor oral health habits continued — we drank well water, flossing and brushing was not part of my young life, and the recommended treatment for my continuous stomachaches was Rolaids and peppermint candies. I rapidly destroyed all of my adult teeth just after they erupted. During what would be my last dental visit for several years, the dentist requested that my mother be brought back to the old dental exam room where I was trying to spit into the swirling bowl of water without making a mess.

My mother stood inside the exam room as she listened to the dentist’s suggestions. Frustrated, he said to my mother, “You don’t have any money and she won’t take care of her teeth. Why don’t you wait until she’s 16 and remove all her teeth and provide her with dentures?” Due to our financial problems and my mother not being educated about the importance of good oral health, she agreed with the dentist’s recommendations. Frankly, my 10-year-old mind was thrilled at the thought of not seeing this dentist again — perhaps any dentist ever again! Little did I know that the decision would not keep me out of the dental chair, but rather keep me sitting in the chairs of many dentists, oral surgeons, and prosthodontists throughout my entire life.

On Thanksgiving in 1975 at the age of 12, my cousin kicked me in the right jaw while we were foolishly fighting. At that moment I grabbed my face and heard bells ring as I endured intense pain. As usual, I ran and hid. However, the next morning I could not hide my pain or non-human-looking face. I looked like a monster. My face was so swollen that my right eye was swollen shut, and I felt very ill.

I was taken to our family doctor, who referred me to a different dentist. After a brief exam, this dentist wrote “situation — hopeless” on my dental chart, and referred me to an oral surgeon who would remove all of my upper and lower back teeth during the Christmas break. I was told two or three teeth would be removed as a tactic to get me in the dental chair, but when I woke from the nitrous, I learned otherwise. Thus the chapter “Liar Liar” was born. After the surgery and long ride home, I laid in the dark of night bleeding alone in shame as I carefully changed the gauze that came in a brown paper bag. I wondered if it was possible to bleed to death through one’s mouth. The chapter called “Bleeding Alone” was written that night, even though it was not published until 2003 in “The Covered Smile.”

Many years later when trying to get my book published, I endured the usual 91 rejections before I finally received a solid book contract. I pursued publishing “The Covered Smile” as a way not only to cleanse my soul of shame by sharing with others, but also as a way to educate those who truly cannot understand the importance of dental education and access to dental care. It also became a voice for those in dental pain.

After much thought and prayer, I wrote the following dedication in “The Covered Smile.” “This book is dedicated to the millions of children and adults whose silent screams go unheard, the ones who hold within them a sea of unshed tears, and to those who are ashamed of their very existence. May my voice and courage be the ray of hope that helps you in your search for the essence of your soul. You are not forgotten.”

Much has taken place since the release of "The Covered Smile," including my becoming a public speaker, advocate, and volunteer for many oral health projects. My Web site has been viewed in more than 30 countries, and many readers have written asking me for help with their dental crisis. The cries from readers asking for help and the encouragement from a dear friend is what prompted me to begin this new chapter in my life as president of the Sonja Lauren Foundation Inc.

The Sonja Lauren Foundation Inc. is not a dental clinic, but a foundation that will raise funds to provide dental exams, cleanings, treatment, and education for children and young adults who do not have Medicaid or dental insurance. Our mission is to “Offer hope and a healthy smile” to as many clients as possible.

Currently, I have 17% to 20% of my chewing ability and worry daily that I many not have enough bone to secure dentures as I age. My life has been difficult, to say the least. However, the amazing changes in my life would not be possible without the encouragement, support, and guidance of the many “earth angels” who have taken my daughter and me under their precious wings. To learn more about the Sonja Lauren Foundation Inc. and the “earth angels” who helped us find our way, please view our Web site at www.sonjalaurenfoundation.org. You may also view my complete dental history or purchase “The Covered Smile” at www.thecoveredsmile.com.

As I often say during my lectures, “This is some heavy stuff and I need to lighten it up a little.” My daughter is now 22, beautiful, and an oral surgery assistant who has never had a cavity! I am currently working full time as an insurance coordinator for a wonderful family practice, and I work hard along with the foundation’s board of directors and advisors. Please smile with my daughter and me as we realize that we have broken the pattern of child abuse, neglect, and the idea that poor oral health is inevitable. Please join us in our mission of “offering hope and a healthy smile,” as together we make a difference in many lives.

Author bio
Sonja Lauren is the author of “The Covered Smile,” and president of the Sonja Lauren Foundation Inc.